Yet there are some news stories that one may think comes from this untrue news source, but these stories are actually true, albeit very funny. You may have a hard time believing some of these are actual news stories, but we also provided the articles. Some are funny; others are just cringe-worthy. Here are 25 Funny Headlines That Actually Should Have Come From The Onion (But Didn’t) Luckily, no dog was injured. Perhaps the saying, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog” may need to be reexamined. They endured this nightmare for five years. When they were told that reality T.V. star Donald Trump was now the president, they thought someone was playing a cruel joke. We’re guessing the relationship had been “nuts” from the beginning. We’re happy for this dad, but the editor may want to look over articles a little more carefully next time. He got away in a getaway car driven by an accomplice who apparently had been “casing the joint” a week before the incident. When the temperature gets below 40 Iguanas blood moves slowly and because of their cold blooded nature they fall out of the trees they perch in. Miami’s National Weather Service has warned passersby to leave them alone as they may feel threatened and bite once they warm up. In all fairness, they did try to offer her a McDouble but she didn’t want it. When you want chicken nuggets, nothing else will suffice. Either this guy has extraordinary powers or he used his mouth to hold the gun, and then to pull the trigger … you know what, we’re completely at a loss here. The pornographic material was supposedly sent by “furries.” Furries are a community of people who dress up like an animal with human characteristics. However, it’s not always about sex. Mr. Watts said he was given the tickets by Jesus behind a KFC. He also stated that an alien named “Stevie” told him that if he made enough money from selling the tickets, he would take Watts and his wife on his flying saucer to his home planet made completely out of crack cocaine. Pope told the man that he had taught himself how to cook authentic Mexican food with the dream of one day working at a Taco Bell. Hey, we all have our dreams … but let’s not foist them on other people. While this does sound very heroic and selfless on Orchard’s part, the fire was not real, the dog was in no danger, and Orchard was tripping. In all fairness, this headline is really just a case of bad wording. The Lady Jacks full name is “The Lady Lumberjacks” but we have a hard time believing this was not intentional. Come on! We are very sorry, Mr. Einstein. We have failed you, good sir. Shortly after this, he heard a siren and was pulled over. There are definitely worse songs he could have picked. Police Sergeant: “O.k. people, we got a vicious man-eating tiger. I need you on your A-game to take it out. Some of you may not make it, but that’s the job. Alright, let’s get it!” (10 minutes later) “Nevermind, it’s just a plush toy. Wow, this is embarrassing.” The driver, Robert Miller, who at the time was 18, blew an alcohol level of .0.65%. He was also driving with two friends on top of the buggy. Living dangerously. In case this needs explanation, here we go. If a person shoots someone, they are armed. If they are unarmed, they can’t shoot someone. Now he could have been armed at the time and then ditched the weapon, but even then, the headline really doesn’t work. She was traveling to Jakarta and her ticket was for 35F. The problem is that airline Lion Air only had 34 rows. Ika’s ticket was for the plane’s bathroom. Man, that stinks! It just goes to show you that age is only a number. These guys were probably rock stars at heart. Fortunately, the police officers gave the test as a joke. The donkey was reunited with its owner. They then were given a jar of candy and told they could take as much as they wanted and the remainder would go to children at a nearby lab. Guess who ate most of the candy … yep, the rich kids. Maybe due to an increased sense of entitlement? Whelan managed to steal the boat and play bumper boats with the other ships at sea before finally being arrested. The “rapper,” along with some of his cohorts, ended up fleeing the scene. We don’t know if the cop ever gave the mixtape a listen. If we had to guess, we’d say … probably not. We don’t know if this article is being redundant or blatantly obvious, or maybe both. Either way … duh! You do know that after age 19 is the age 20, which, just in case you don’t know, is no longer in the “teens” so it’s no longer a “teen” pregnancy.
